Friendship in a letter

When David Desmond arrived to attend a weekend Mass at St. Mary’s Church in Geneseo, New York, in mid-2002, he had no idea he was about to begin an almost 15-year friendship that would compel him to take a journey across the globe and alter his perspective about people who live in poverty.

In fact, he might’ve passed up the opportunity if not for his 10-year-old daughter Rachael. An Unbound preacher was speaking to the parish that day about sponsorship and, by the end of Mass, Desmond’s daughter felt moved to action. She turned to her father and said, “We’re doing this right, Dad?”

“I was unemployed at the time, and I had no income,” said Desmond, a three-time cancer survivor. “I hadn’t planned on sponsoring initially, but I told my daughter, ‘Oh. Oh, yeah, we’re going to sponsor!’”

Since that day, Desmond has become a dedicated Unbound supporter, sponsoring three children over the course of 21 years, and taking a life-changing trip to meet one of them face-to-face.

Finding fulfillment in helping others

Making meaningful connections with other human beings is important to Desmond. The Palmyra, New York, native worked in the field of human services for most of his career, at one point holding the position of campus minister at a university. Prior to that, he worked at Covenant House, supporting children and youth who were homeless in New York City.

“Relationality is just part of my being, how I know to be,” Desmond said. “I look forward to every person I get to meet. If I can take some of what I’ve been blessed to receive and share it with someone else who might not have had similar opportunities, then so be it.”

Desmond keeps photos and letters from his Unbound sponsored friends displayed in his home office, intermingled with photos of his own family members.

“In some respects, I think the communication with my sponsored friends is more important than even the financial contribution,” said Desmond. “It tells them someone else sees them, they’re not invisible. They’re a human being who has value and is important.”

Today, Desmond sponsors two individuals through Unbound — his longtime sponsored friend Dhenry, 22, from the Philippines, and his newly sponsored friend Esther, 10, from Rwanda.

The sense of pride and fulfilment he’s discovered in having shared his life experiences with Dhenry via letter writing for the past 14 years goes beyond anything he could have ever imagined when he first became a sponsor — and the feeling is mutual.

“Sir David tells me that I should not give up on my dreams and that I must have faith in God,” said Dhenry. “His communication changed my life because of the new things I learned from him; I am grateful to have him as part of my life and journey toward my dreams.”

Dhenry's path to fulfilling his dreams

Dhenry is the third youngest of seven children, born in rural Legazpi in the Philippines. His father is a rice farmer, while his mother sometimes makes wigs for sale.

The family’s income was not enough to support their daily needs, especially where school was concerned. Dhenry remembers frequently attending school as a child without the necessary school supplies or money to buy his daily lunch.

When Dhenry was sponsored at 7 years-old, he wasn’t the only one who began to benefit from Desmond’s sponsorship contribution. Four of Dhenry’s siblings who were also still in school benefitted as well and, over time, his parents were able to build up their savings. After sponsorship, Dhenry remembers what it felt like to have new shoes, new school uniforms and a new book bag for the start of each new school year. He never went hungry at school again.

“Our daily lives became better, and I feel that we are lifting our lives from poverty little by little,” Dhenry said. “That’s one of the reasons why I studied very well in school. I always put in mind that this opportunity — being sponsored — is a big blessing for me, and receiving achievements in school, I think, is an achievement for him [Desmond] as well.”

This motivation is what still drives Dhenry today, as he now stands within a year of obtaining a college degree in secondary education with a focus in mathematics. His goal is to work as a teacher for a few years after graduation before returning to school to study law.

A friendship beyond sponsorship

For Dhenry, sponsorship was his support system, not just financially, but also physically, spiritually and emotionally.

“I learned how to believe in myself, that I can be the best of what I can be in the future,” he said.

His friendship with Desmond played a role in that for the last 14 years that they’ve been trading letters. When Dhenry sits down to write a letter to Desmond, he thinks of it like writing poetry, cathartic almost.

“Though we have a lot of differences, something we have in common is our love of writing,” said Dhenry about Desmond, who has written three collections of poetry. “He is a writer and I also write spoken word poetry in my own language. It helps me a lot to write letters to him.”

In his letters, Dhenry tells Desmond funny stories about his family and friends, and his achievements and events in his life. They share tips on gardening and discuss the weather in each of their respective corners of the world. Desmond always makes a point to check in with Dhenry and his family during typhoon season in the Philippines, to ensure their safety, and he sends special well-wishes on birthdays and holidays.

In 2021, Desmond had planned to visit Dhenry on an Unbound Awareness Trip for sponsors, but the trip was cancelled as COVID-19 was spreading across the globe. Because Dhenry was so close to graduating — and thus, retiring from the Unbound program — Desmond spent the next few years worried they’d never get the chance to meet.

But in early 2024, the stars finally aligned for sponsor and sponsored friend to speak for the first time in person.

A blessing in each other's lives

Unbound offers travel opportunities for sponsors, called “awareness trips,” several times a year. During these week-long or more immersive trips abroad, sponsors get the chance to meet their sponsored friends and see firsthand how Unbound partners with families in their struggles against poverty.

With the reintroduction of Unbound awareness trips in 2023, Desmond took a spot on the first Philippines trip for sponsors offered in three years and arrived in Quezon City in late January 2024. To meet his sponsor, Dhenry and his mother, Melany, took a 15-hour bus ride from Legazpi.

Though neither Desmond nor Dhenry planned it, they both arrived for the meeting carrying the letters they had received from each other for the last 14 years. The meeting was an emotional one, according to Desmond, where all they could manage at first was to hug one another and laugh.

“It’s beautiful to have had this friendship for all these years and then to have met him and see what his life looks like,” Desmond said. “He’s successful and has aspirations. He’s happy and doing well.”

Dhenry said he couldn’t really put into words how he felt to finally meet his sponsor, something he had prayed he would one day have the opportunity to do.

“I [felt] a mixture of emotions,” he said. “I was happy, blessed, joyful and lucky. He is like a father figure to me, a best friend and a brother.”

Desmond and Dhenry spent two days of the awareness trip together, talking and attending various activities planned by local Unbound staff for sponsors and their sponsored friends. On the last day of their visit, they attended an interactive 3D art exhibit, a first for Dhenry.

For the rest of the awareness trip, Desmond and other sponsors learned about Unbound program sites throughout the Philippines and had firsthand experiences with the organization’s Agents of Change and parent support groups. The trip positively impacted Desmond’s impression of Unbound and altered his perspective on people who live in poverty.

“I was just impressed and inspired by the entrepreneurial spirit that I encountered and how personalized the program is to each family,” Desmond said. “From the warm welcome the local people gave us to every aspect of the program work that occurs, it was amazing to witness.”

But one of the greatest highlights of Desmond’s life will always be getting to meet the young man whom he formed an unexpected friendship with across the distance, and he’s looking forward to supporting Dhenry as he reaches other milestones.

“Dhenry is a true blessing in my life,” Desmond said. “If I’d never written the letters to Dhenry and still traveled to meet him, I’m sure he would have been appreciative anyway. But I think the reason we had such an incredible time visiting was because of the letters — because we shared our lives with each other.”

Send words of encouragement to your own sponsored friend; log in to your Unbound account and write a letter today. Learn more about how you could visit your sponsored friend by traveling with Unbound.

Regional Reporter Tristan John Cabrera contributed photos and information for this story.